Courtney's point of view after a year

It's been a long long time since I've last posted. Many things have happened, and it's crazy to think about.
It's actually one year ago tomorrowthe 15th, regardless it has been quite the year. That day I went to the gym, stopped at the library on the way home to do some homework, and then I came home to take a nap. I talked to my friend rat (Jillian) on the phone and she said, "I don't think I'm going to be able to come out because the weather is supposed to get worse later and my parents don't want me on the road driving." So I said ugh okay, well call me if anything changes. About an hour or so later around 3:00 rat called me back and said that it was okay if she drove to the movies and right back. We made plans to meet at the movies for 5:00.
That's all I remember. Well I remember us calling eachother figuring out what the other was wearing, but that is the end of my memory of that day.
I can't believe it has been a year. I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I missed Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years with my family. This year on those holidays it is going to be the best time after all we have been and fought through together.
This year on my birthday (which is in October) it was an emotional day. When we were singing "happy birthday," and when I was opening my presents my parents were tearing up. I knew that they were just overwhelmed. My Mom said that they didn't know if I would celebrate another birthday. That scared me.
So many things before my accident didn't phase me nearly as strongly as they do now. For example. driving, school, friendship, and many more. Those things have changed so much for me. Now that I am back to driving it's a smile of relief every time I get into the drivers seat. I drive along, still smiling and don't care about the fact that people who drive past me look at me like I'm a weirdo. I think to myself, "they don't know shit about what I've been though."
School. Oh to be in school I want to be in school so badly. But the day I got the results of the nuero-psych evaluation test the doctor told me that if I was back in school, she is afraid I would fail and not be happy. She also said that it's a good thing I'm so high-strong. Some people she said, we have to push them along, but we're pulling you back.
That is good and bad. Thanks to people like her, and so many others who work in the recovery department of health, I haven't gotten too far ahead of myself because of their warnings that I could be very dissapointed if I did this or that.
I'm kind of glad I've gone through this. It taught me so many things. The love and dependence of friendship, family, and the grace of God and to never give up. I've learned so much, but in a much stronger sense then I did as I was growing up. This time though, it means something. I understand every lesson, every punishment, every thing I didn't want to hear as a teenager, and every cry for help.
Please continue to pray for me, I need your prayers so I keep getting better and better, and also please pray for every person who was hurt by all the bad stories you see on the news. The soldiers need our prayers and our love, so that more don't give up.
I'll post soon, I promise.
hehe :)

Mom's Update

It's been a long time since I've typed the words in the title line.

Today marks one year since Courtney's accident. It was a day just like today, rainy and windy. Courtney spent that day working out, doing homework, and preparing for the all important Saturday night of a college student.

At 4:30 that afternoon she texted her friend Jill to tell her what she was wearing and that she was leaving her house. Minutes later her life would change forever.

From the night of the accident I knew that Courtney's determination could make the difference between life and death; coma and consciousness; independence and disability. As her mother I know that Courtney's stubbornness can be a blessing and a curse at once. And I knew that if she gave up at anytime it would be disastrous.

These days Courtney reflects on her accident and the past year's road to recovery. It is an emotional rollercoaster for her.

When she hears stories of less fortunate people it frightens her. Like the teenager who suffered a TBI playing football and 3 years later is just learning to walk -"why am I like this and he's like that?"

Or the 135 soldiers of the US Army who have committed suicide this year alone. "Why did they give up?" "I could have given up."

I don't have answers to these questions. Or other questions like "Why did this happen to me?" "Why am I like this?"

In Courtney's words "my accident haunts me", "it terrorizes me", "it makes me afraid of everything."

As her mother all I can do is hold Courtney and provide reassurance that the strong feelings of fear she has today will pass. But it's Courtney's courage and determination that keep her going.

At the same time she's afraid she's also said "If I could turn back the hands of time, I wouldn't take my accident away. It's brought so many people to God and to believe in the power of prayer."

She often says "It's because of the prayers of people like you, and so many others I don't even know, that I am where I am today."

God has blessed Courtney with an abundance of determination, persistence, courage and a great big heart under a tough exterior! It's these qualities and God's grace that have helped Courtney along the road of the last year. So today I'd like to share some her accomplishments during these past months:

February 13th We arrive home. Courtney's cognitive and emotional functioning fall between that of a 2 and 4 year old. I read to her each night from books like "Good Night Moon"
She still knows how to make pancakes but can't be trusted getting in and out of the car alone. We can't let her wander off in a store and never leave her home alone.

March 20 We celebrate "Christmas plus 87 days" with family and friends - to many to fit in the house. Thank God it's sunny (but cool) outside as everyone spills out into the yard.
We are frustrated at trying to find the right fit for Courtney for physical, speech and occupational therapy. She's surpassed what in-home therapy can provide but we're not happy with any programs we've looked at.
We purchase books from a learning store at the 1st and 2nd grade level.
Courtney is doing math, vocabulary and reading every day 15 minutes at a time. Her attention span doesn't allow for more.

April - Easter and we've finally found solutions for therapy. It's not integrated, rather messy but everyone is devoted to helping Courtney. She begins PT at Elite; OT and Speech at St. Joe's in Providence. Courtney is now cognitively and emotionally roughly 8 years old.
She is reading to me at night; working for up to 30 minutes at a time in school books and re-learning to ride her bike.

These first few months home were the best emotionally. Courtney has truly been reborn. She loves everything about life! Being with her is a high! "Ooooh I love tootsie pops!"
"Ooooh I love hoola hoops!" "Ooooh I love ...........everything!"

It was a joyous time that was, in hinesight, another gift from God. A breath - a filling up of the well before taking on the next tough battle in the war on TBI.

May comes and Courtney has moved up emotionally and cognitively to 10-12. She begins to gain insight into her situation; she understands that her friends have moved on with her lives but she has not. She's frustrated, sad, angry but lacks the emotional maturity to express it.
Once again Courtney is trapped inside herself - but this time it is a conscious, emotional entrapment that is torterous to watch.
She continues her therapy and has excelled at PT. Courtney and the occupational therapist do NOT hit it off! She lacks empathy and is condescending to Courtney. Big mistake!!!! It's not long before we realize that this 30 minutes a day is a waste of time. We abandon OT and focus solely on Speech.
Pat, Courtney's speech therapist is terrific. She gets Courtney!

Courtney spends her day with Maria who shuttles Courtney from appointment to appointment. Maria spends 5 days a week with Courtney - it's a tall order but Maria takes on the challenge. There's no rule book on handling a person recovering from TBI. References, yes, but the experience is individual - you have to go with the flow and be able to react (and not react). Maria handles it like a pro and keeps Courtney on the right path.

June "When can I drive?" "I want to go to a party sooooo bad." "Why can't I just go out like all the other kids?"
Sound familiar? Guess where we are right now? Yup! We're living the teenage years again!
I must have done something really bad to deserve this!!!! If you think it's bad the first time around, imagine knowing what you're in for and living it again!

But seriously, at every bad moment over the past year, I think to myself "thank you God for sparing Courtney's life."

Courtney has by now graduated from PT and the work is ratcheting up at Speech. We begin to wonder whether she'll be ready for URI in the Fall. The baclofin pump is removed - thank God - just in time for bathing suit season. This was a serious concern for Courtney since the pump protruded from her stomach. "I can't wear a bikini like this!" That's fine I'm sure Daddy has a bathrobe he'd rather see you in!

July - More of the same....the teenage years drag on. Courtney is driving with me in the car only. It's like the permit phase again; I make a comment and she doesn't like it. I respond:
"Well if you don't want to listen then you won't be driving." The battle rages on.
Courtney goes back to work with South Kingstown Parks and recreation camp - this year as a volunteer - 3 days a week for half the day.

August - We're having lots of fun times with family and friends at the beach and on the boat.
We are very lucky and know it! Courtney's driving more and now the question is "when can I drive alone?" I think "when I'm dead and buried!"
We know now that Courtney won't be going back to URI in the Fall but are hopeful that she can audit a class in January. She is determined and her work ethic is serving her well.

There are many typical TBI issues: impulsiveness, inpatience, mood swings, confusion, short term memory loss, the list goes on.

September - Courtney is frustrated that everyone is back to school and she is not. She's truly depressed and wondering if she'll ever have her life back again. I pray every day, all day "please God don't let her give up." She's come so far. I tell Courtney "you cannot think for one moment about giving up. It would be a grave injustice to all those who prayed for you and worked with you to get this far."
Courtney prays fervently every day for strength. It's been a long road and our entire family is by now battle weary.
Craig and I have not had time together as a couple for almost a year now. It's not supposed to be this way at this time in our lives. This is supposed to be our time - but God has other plans. We battle on, hopeful that we will have the strength to finish this journey.

Courtney is now cognitively and emotionally 18 years old. She's almost there but there's a lot of work ahead.

October and Courtney's initiative and drive have taken over. She calls Mr. Cardi from LaSalle and asks him to sit in on his classroom so that she can practice being in class, taking notes, etc.
This is one of the areas of executive functioning that is causing Courtney trouble.
Courtney begins volunteering at CJCR, now Immaculate Conception Parish school.
The children of Grade 1 classroom and their teacher are very happy to have Courtney. She loves her time there and is great with the kids.

Courtney undergoes a 4 hour Neuropsychological evaluation to determine at what level she is functioning in many areas. While Courtney has made huge gains there are still some areas of significant deficits. She works every day to overcome these deficits and find ways to compensate.

November Courtney is working with Mr. Cardi from LSA on a presentation to his PoliSci class on her time at the Obama Campaign.
She's working with her Speech therapist on her first term paper and soon they'll begin work on her portfolio that will be submitted to URI's Elementary Education department for her application. We will meet this month with a Dean at URI to formulate a plan for Courtney's re-entry into college life. She will take a class in the Spring semester on an audit basis.

Courtney is driving herself! We've purchased an SUV that is as close to a Bradley tank as we can find! It's terribly nerve racking for Craig and I but Courtney feels a level of independence that's necessary for her continued recovery.
Courtney knows now that her friends can not begin to understand where she's at. She knows that kids her age take so much for granted. She also realizes that she will never be the same. Not just because of what she's been through - but that SHE is not the same. TBI changes people. She struggles to explain it "my intellect is not the same" she often says.

The good news is that the brain is very "plastic" meaning that areas of the brain can take over for other areas permanently damaged. The younger you are the most "plastic" your brain. Recovery from TBI can last for years - improvements can be seen up to 4-5 years following an injury. As far as Courtney has come, we expect her to make even more gains in the future.

Here we are, one year later, the events of the past 12 months can be overwhelming to reflect upon. Sometimes distance provides clarity and when I look back over the past year it's almost like having an outer body experience. I can vividly see the small room we sat in after first arriving at the hospital; the waiting rooms on the 4th and 5th floors at RIH. The view out the window of Courtney's room in the TICU. The rooms at Braintree. I can remember conversations as they happened as though I am floating above the participants, watching, rather than participating.

Words could never describe the pain and agony of the past year. The grief, sorrow, relief, happiness and overwhelming joy are as intense upon reflection as when they were happening.
Very often people have said "I don't know how you did it." Well I do. It was all of you - your prayers, your thoughts, your emails, texts, cards, and blog comments that carried us through this difficult time.

I believe that God called to you and you answered. He sent us many gifts. The blog among the greatest of those gifts. The blog gave us the ability to reach hundreds of people - to ask you all to join us in prayer.

Thank you for answering this call. Thank you for taking this journey with us and for your many prayers. Thank God too for all the blessings he bestows on us every day.

I humbly asked you to pray for Courtney one year ago. Today I humbly ask that you continue to keep her in your prayers and for another prayer request.

You see there are soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan who do not have family in the US to support them. There are so many, but I have the names of a few who could use your prayers. If you could see to including them in your prayers this holiday season I'm certain that God will protect them both in battle and when they arrive home. Here are their names:
Charles
Joseph
Neil
Michael
Robert
Danny
Larry
Dan
Carmen

Thank you again and God Bless to all of you!

Diane

What has Happened to me?

One of the questions that Courtney has been asking Diane and I is " What has happened to me?"
This question is common for many people with brain injuries and is part of the healing process of a traumatic brain injury. When the brain gets injured many things can happen depending upon the site of the injury. For example the portion of the brain that controls the concept of "the self image" can cause conflicting messages to be sent between other areas of the brain.

Imagine for a minute that you wake up and you remember some events from your past yet other events are not quite clear. You cannot quite figure out why things are different. You remember that you were good at math but now you cannot quite figure out how much change you get after spending $1.00 from a $5.00 bill after a small purchase. Things don't seem to compute quite as easily in the afternoon as they did in the morning. You remember how to make a meal but somehow when you read a new recipe you cannot quite put it all together. It can take it's toll on your self image. It takes constant reassurance and a strong will to overcome negative thoughts that accompany her on a daily if not hourly basis.

The above examples are just a few of the many situations that Courtney has overcome through hard work at therapy during the day. At night Diane and Courtney will play board games(scrabble, jeopardy, etc) to continue the relearning process. Courtney knows that these types of cognitive exercises bring her closer to her goal of returning to the University of Rhode Island and that is why she presses on, every day and every night. Working her way back to "her life".

A few months ago Diane found a story written by a young woman with a brain injury. The story was entitled " A letter from you Brain" and was written by Stephanie St.Claire. The following is the text of the letter. Diane and I found the letter to be very accurate and shows the inner strength God and provided to people with brain injuries.

A Letter From Your Brain by Stephanie St. Claire

Hello,
I'm glad to see that you are awake! This is your brain talking. I had to find some way to communicate with you. I feel like I barely survived WWIII and am still not quite all in one piece. That's why I need you. I need you to take care of me.
As time passes and you and I feel better and better, people, even doctors, will tell you that we are fine, "it's time to get on with life." That sounds good to me and probably even better to you. But before you go rushing back out into that big wide world, I need you to listen to me, really listen. Don't shut me out. Don't tune me out. When I'm getting into trouble I'll need your help more than I ever have before.
I know that you want to believe that we are going to be the same. I'll do my best to make that happen. The problem is that too many people in our situation get impatient and try to rush the healing process; or when their brains can't fully recover they deny it and, instead of adapting, they force their brains to function in ways they are no longer able too. Some people even push their brains until they seize, and worse... I'm scared. I'm afraid that you will do that to me. If you don't accept me I am lost. We both will be lost.
How can I tell you how much I need you now? I need you to accept me as I am today... not for what I used to be, or what I might be in the future. So many people are so busy looking at what their brains used to do, as if past accomplishments were a magical yardstick to measure present success or failures that they fail to see how far their brains have come. It's as if here is shame, or guilt, in being injured. Silly, huh?
Please don't be embarrassed or feel guilt, or shame, because of me. We are okay. We have made it this far. If you work with me we can make it even further. I can't say how far. I won't make any false promises. I can only promise you this, that I will do my best.
What I need you to do is this: because neither of us knows how badly I've been hurt (things are still a little foggy for me), or how much I will recover, or how quickly, please go s-l-o-w-l-y when you start back trying to resume your life. If I give you a headache, or make you sick to your stomach, or make you unusually irritable, or confused, or disoriented, or afraid, or make you feel that you are overdoing it, I'm trying to get your attention in the only way I can. Stop and listen to me.
I get exhausted easily since being hurt, and cannot succeed when overworked. I want to succeed as much as you do. I want to be as well as I can be, but I need to do it at a different pace than I could before I got hurt. Help me to help us by paying attention and heeding the messages I send to you.

I will do my part to do my very best to get us back on our feet. I am a little worried though that if I am not exactly the same you will reject me. I want us to live, and breath and be, even if being is not the same as it was. Different may be better. It may be harder too, but I don't want you to give up. Don't give up on me. Don't give up on yourself. Our time here isn't through yet. There are things that I want to do and I want to try, even if trying has to be done in a different way. It isn't easy. I have to work very hard, much harder, and I know that you do too. I see people scoff, and misunderstand. I don't care. What I do care about is that you understand how hard I am working and how much I want to be as good as I can be, but I need you to take good care of us, as well as you can do that.
Don't be ashamed of me. We are alive. We are still here. I want the chance to try to show you what we are made of. I want to show you the things that are really important in life. We have been given another chance to be better, to learn what is really important. When it is finally time for our final exit I would like to look back and feel good about what we made of us and out of everything that made up our life, including this injury. I cannot do it without you. I cannot do it if you hate me for the way being injured has affected me and our life together. Please try not to be bitter in grief. That would crush me.
Please don't reject me. There is little I can do without you, without your determination to not give up. Take good care of us and of yourself. I need you very much, especially now.

Love,
your wounded brain

"A Long Winters Nap"

Diane and I have talked over the summer of updating the blog because we still receive multiple phone calls on Courtney's progress. So here is the latest update.





Last month Courtney received an award for achievement from Braintreee Rehab Hospital. She was so proud to accept this award! Many of the staff who worked with Courtney were in attendance. Needless to say there were many hugs and happy tears. This was a person who entered the hospital as a 3 on the GCS coma scale and walked out the door under her own power in less than 2 months. We were originally told that she would be at Braintree for 6-8 months!




Courtney continues to do well physically and in June had the baclofin pump removed from her abdomen. The Dr's originally told us that this pump which was implanted surgically would be in for 7-8 years! Courtney had it in for 5 months. It was taken out because she has really worked hard at Physical Therapy. As one of the physical therapist's said she is working like a professional athlete. This allowed her to go to Green Hill Beach and enjoy the few nice beach days there were! She also re-learned how to ride a bike! the smile on her face was as wide as the street that day!



The summer of 2009 has a lesson in patience and determination for all of us. Courtney is showing us that she wants to get her "life back". Progress is made only through her determination and willingness to succeed. At this point she is recognizing that she has to overcome some obstacles and this is good as it shows an increased awareness of the "self" It is also very frustrating because she wants to "do all of the stuff" that she did before the accident and at this point not all of that is happening to her time frame.



Her weeks are filled with therapy and rest periods and then "homework". Homework consists of cognitive drills, memorization techniques, re-learning math(Ouch), writing short stories. This is all hard work for her and yet she never stops trying. Being stubborn has its merits!



We had many celebrations this summer with one party that was attended by almost 100 friends and family. We celebrated not only Courtney's miracle but also the fact that we have been blessed by so many people to support her and our family during this difficult time.



In a few weeks we will approach the 1 yr anniversary of the accident( November 15, 2008) Both Diane and I are beginning to have memories that we had put behind us resurface again. We are sure that the next few weeks will be difficult for our family. We are so, so grateful to be at the point where we are today



I have posted a couple of pictures that show how far she has come in the last 11 months. The pictures do not capture the whole ordeal but nonetheless convey the progress she had made. Courtney had coined time last winter as "The Long Winters Nap" and we can all understand why!





Craig

By The Grace Of God And A Mothers Love

I have not posted to Courtney's Blog in quite awhile because my wonderful wife has written with such eloquence, grace and heartfelt thanks for the wonderful gift that was bestowed on our family.



I chose this weekend because for months I have been reflecting on how God spared my daughters life working through her beautiful mother. Tomorrow, is Mothers Day so I felt it most appropriate to post now.



For the last 6 months I have been a witness to the faith, courage and strength of my wife as we traveled the "Road to Recovery" for Courtney



On November 15, 2009 Diane and I were to have a quiet dinner at the home of our close friends Ed and Lynn Aberger. Courtney had her own dinner plans to meet her close friend Jillian and then later to return to our house to stay the night, have a breakfast with her Mom and I then return to her apartment in Narragansett. Courtney by nature is a very punctual, dependable young women and when she had not arrived at the restaurant at her scheduled time of 5:00 pm Jill knew instinctively that something was very wrong. At 5:30, Diane and I had just arrived at the Abergers and Diane's cell phone rang, it was Jillian calling to tell Diane that Courtney had not returned her text messages or phone calls.

Diane also knew that something was terribly wrong at that moment, yes a mothers intuition. Ed, Lynn and myself discussed for a few minutes if indeed something was wrong with Courtney, perhaps a flat tire, maybe the her cell phone was dead. We waited for a few minutes when Lynn suggested that we call the Narragansett Police and see if perhaps they could send a police car by her apartment to check on her well being.



Diane dialed the Narragansett Police as I was standing close to her side. Diane only identified herself that "her daughter was a Narragansett resident"... the dispatcher replied "is this Courtney Hollingworth's mom? I saw the terrified look on Diane's face, a look that I had never seen on Diane's face ever. Diane replied "Yes, what has happened? The dispatcher responded that "Courtney has been in a very intensive accident and we are attempting to have her airlifted to the Trauma Center at Rhode Island Hospital. The Trauma Center Intensive Care Unit would be our home for the next 6 weeks.


When we arrived at the hospital , we were ushered into a "family room" by a social worker who told us that the "priest would be there in a minute or two, they had been expecting us". Where was Courtney? I thought to myself. I gave a glance at Ed and his face had a look of terrible foreboding.


For almost 55 minutes, we waited for the Chief of Trauma to speak with us. He demeanor was solemn, quiet. He began to list Courtney's injuries, All ribs fractured, clavicle bones fractured, shoulder fractured, right arm fractured, small bones in neck fractured, small bones in her lower spine fractured, both lungs badly damaged and collapsed, small fractures to both cheek bones, skull fractured in three places and then finally she has suffered a severe traumatic brain injury(TBI). It would be at least 5 days before the Dr's would know if she were to survive let alone what brain functions had been affected. Courtney was in a very deep Coma. Diane began to pray.. there was never any doubt in how we would handle this situation, we would turn to God.



During the next 13 weeks, Diane devoted all of her motherly intuitions, skills, love and prayer to Courtney. She maintained a bedside vigil in Courtney's room assisting the nursing staff in anyway she could, applying all the instincts that a mother possess, helping with bathing, changing the bedding, re-positioning Courtney's body in the bed, holding Courtney's Hand, stroking her face, singing to Courtney, talking to Courtney, reciting prayers while applying holy water, when Courtney's body temp rose to above 107 deg, she assisted the nurses placing ice packs, when the neurological exams came back grave, she prayed. She once told me that there is "No fear in life when you place your whole heart in Gods hands"



Diane took time to comfort and sooth Katy and Claudia while they also suffered in our family's pain for Courtney. She taught Katy and Claudia that love, kindness, compassion for others is really the only true path in life and that while Courtney was very ill, sadness, pity and hopelessness have no place in the hearts of those with hope. Diane did not just speak the words of the courageous, she lived the same words she spoke.



When Courtney was finally transferred to Braintree Rehab Hospital outside of Boston, Diane maintained her bedside vigil with Courtney. Diane would arrive at Courtney's room every morning by 7:30 to help bath, change, reposition, the list is endless and would continue until 8:00 pm or later, 7 days a week for months, even through snowstorms. When Diane was not attending to Courtney, she would lifting the spirits of visitors, friends, etc.


I have no words that could ever express my thanks for the Grace of God and my wife's Love for bringing my daughter back to us. I am humbled that she is my best friend for she is all that a wife and mother could ever be. I am sure that Diane may even be embarrassed by words on this post, nonetheless they are all true. I am also sure that Diane would point out that every mother would do the same for their child as she has done for our children. Even so, this experience on "Courtney's Road to Recovery" has shown me that the reason there is a "Mother's Day" is because of mom's like Diane.



HAPPY MOTHERS DAY,



Love Craig













c

RONALD MCDONALD WALK INFORMATION

THE WALK STARTS FROM THE ROGER WILLIAMS PARK
TEMPLE TO MUSIC

THE WALK STARTS AT 9AM ACCORDING TO RADIO ANNOUNCEMENTS
YOU WILL WANT TO ARRIVE CLOSE BY 8:30 IN ORDER TO FIND A PARKING SPOT AND GET TO OUR STAGING AREA (SEE BELOW)

WALKS IN THE PAST HAVE PROVEN THAT THE PARKING SITUATION THERE IS DIFFICULT AND TRAFFIC BACKS UP SIGNIFICANTLY

HERE ARE SOME SUGGESTIONS:
ARRIVE EARLY (duh!)
ENTER THROUGH THE BROAD STREET OR PARK AVENUE PARK ENTRANCES RATHER THAN THE ELMWOOD AVENUE MAIN ENTRANCES

CONSIDER PARKING AT PARK VIEW MIDDLE SCHOOL
PARK AVENUE, CRANSTON (KEEP IN MIND IT'S A BIT OF A WALK TO THE START LINE)



PARKING AT THE PARK:
ZOO PARKING LOTS ARE VERY LARGE
'CASINO' PARKING LOT (NEAR ELMWOOD AVENUE ENTRANCE)


CONSIDER CAR POOLING!!!

THERE WILL BE MANY SIGNS DIRECTING YOU TO THE START LINE OF THE WALK. LOOK FOR THE TEAM COURTNEY SIGNS TO LOCATE OUR TEAM.

PLEASE COME TO OUR 'STAGING AREA' TO PICK UP YOUR T SHIRT.
WE HAVE MADE 55 SHIRTS - ENOUGH FOR ALL WALKERS WHO REGISTERED THROUGH YESTERDAY.

FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME WITH ANY QUESTIONS
SEE YOU ALL THERE!

Update

The mass on Thursday was beautiful. We want to thank Fr. Kenney and Mrs. Donahue-Lynch from LaSalle. We will be thinking about 'save the princess' for some time to come!

Thank you also to the amazing voices of the Pilgrim High School Accepella Choir and Women's Choir. There were over a dozen kids who took time out of their week, on their own to share their talents with us.

To date there are 40 people that we know of registered for the Ronald Mcdonald walk-a-thon.
If you registered and did not indicate that you would be walking with TEAM COURTNEY please contact The Providence Ronald McDonald House and ask that they add your name to the team list. 274-4447

Otherwise we have t-shirts for everyone identified as walking with TEAM COURTNEY.
We will have a table set up (look for the TEAM COURTNEY PINK SIGNS) with beverages and refreshments. Looking forward to seeing you all there for the 8:30 start!

For the past few weeks, I've been going to St. Joes, and Elite. At the gym,the other day I ran on the treadmill and my Mom and I were so proud. Yesterday, I rode my bike for the first time. It was so exciting, and my Dad got it on video. On Easter Sunday, the mass was beautiful. Lately, I do basically everything on my own. I make my bed, all personal needs, I do the dishes, and laundry. I almost do everything I used to do. The walkathon, I think everyone who can go, should go and do it. A lot of people tell me that I look, and sound like "the old Courtney". I am pretty proud of myself, and where I came from after everything that happened to me.

RONALD MCDONALD WALK MAY 3RD

THANKS TO AUNTIE MOE FOR SETTING UP TEAM COURTNEY
YOU CAN JOIN TEAM COURTNEY BY CLICKING ON THIS LINK

REMEMBER TO POST A COMMENT OR SEND ME AN EMAIL WITH YOUR T-SHIRT SIZE!

YOU CAN ALSO DONATE ONLINE AT WWW.FIRSTGIVING.COM/DIANEHOLLINGWORTH



http://www.firstgiving.com/process/teamarea/default.asp

Easter Happiness

Thank you to Fr. Ron Brassard for offering this morning's 11:30 mass in thanksgiving for Courtney's miraculous healing. It was a beautiful mass and we enjoyed seeing many of our friends and family.

The Immaculate Conception parish family prayed for Courtney throughout these past 5 months.

We are aware that many churches and faith/school communities of various denominations have been praying for Courtney. If you would like to tell us about yours please post a comment so that we can offer our thanks and add your community to our prayer list for continued faithfulness.

While reflecting on the past 5 months during Easter mass I remembered reading in the Bible and hearing the prayers of so many who came to pray over Courtney "let God be exaulted through a miracle." Today's readings offered those same words and God has truly been exaulted as we know that the power of prayer and God's miraculous love has brought Courtney back to us!!

Walk with Courtney's Team Sunday May 3rd

Below is the online registration link for the walkathon:



http://www.providenceronaldmcdonaldhouse.org/walk_registration09.html



OR you can use the printable registration form for the walkathon:



http://www.providenceronaldmcdonaldhouse.org/images/walk09/walkregistrationsheetweb.pdf





If you plan to walk please also post a comment and tell us who you are and the shirt sizes of all walkers. We will supply Courtney's Team shirts for everyone who walks.

Upcoming "Events"

The Ronald McDonald House was our home away from home while Courtney was at RIH.

To honor their hospitality and Courtney's miraculous recovery we are organizing
TEAM COURTNEY for the Annual Ronald McDonald House Walkathon
The walk takes place Sunday May 3rd

You can register to walk on Courtney's team online or by posting a comment here. We will supply all walkers with Courtney T-shirts (pink of course!)

If you can't walk but would like to donate go to : www.firstgiving.com/dianehollingworth

More information will be posted soon but don't delay - SIGN UP NOW!

Also, there will be a Mass of Thanksgiving for Courtney's healing at LaSalle Academy in Providence on Thursday April 23rd 7pm. Fr. Al Kenney will celebrate the mass. We look forward to seeing many many people there to help thank God for his grace.

Mom's Update

Courtney is working very hard to improve in all areas. She works 6 days a week doing Math and Reading to improve visual processing skills and comprehension of detail.

Courtney does all kinds of Math and is now reading articles about political science (her previous major at school).

Physical therapy has also advanced and soon we will post pictures of the challenging exercises Courtney is doing during therapy.

In addition to scheduling her day Courtney organizes her school work, and everything she needs for the day. This is great progress and shows Courtney's executive functions are improving.

Testing shows that Courtney is at appropriate grade level in many areas and has given us good information on what she can focus on as she works to get back to school.

Courtney has always been a very hard worker and she remains so today. We have to remind her about the severity of her injury and how far she has come. We remind her to rest and not push herself to hard.

We pray for God's grace, patience and faith as Courtney continues to improve.

Two weeks ago we went to see the firefighters and emt.s in narragansett. In the afternoon, we went to lunch with Brendan Doyle and his mom and Brendan is a state trooper. Brendan saw me in Rhode Island hospital, and it was very difficult for him to see me like that. At lunch, we talked about how we both already thought we were all better and hated going to therapy and things that are similar to that. We both said to our Moms, "I'm not stupid". Brendan knows pretty much exactly what I went through, and it makes sense to relate to someone who understands how I feel. During this week and last week I go to St. Josephs in Providence for speech and OT. OT primarily focuses on things that have to do with my left hand such as sqeezing things and also some things to do with math. But as far as living skills, I had those down at Braintree, and as soon as I got home. Speech focuses on organizational skills, school work such as math like long division, and note taking. PT in warwick is awesome. I'm working on my endurance, my balance, and my tone. By the end of the first day he told me that I could go to the gym where my Mom and I used to go. Today he told me that it was my best day.

Mile 20

Since the first day after Courtney's accident caregivers have been telling us "it's a marathon", "pace yourself." Pacing ourselves didn't occur to us in those early days when her future was so unclear. It started to sink in while she was at Braintree. Now we are at about Mile 20 - the long slow climb. Courtney wants her old life back NOW! She has little tolerance for therapy and has a hard time seeing that anything is different from before her accident.
When others see Courtney they also have a hard time recognizing that she is anything but completely her old self. She looks great, is walking, talking, etc. But there is alot of work ahead for Courtney on her road to complete recovery.
She works daily at math and reading exercises that at one time would have been child's play. This work takes about 3-4 hours each day. She works hard to build up her endurance physically. Courtney has speech therapy 3 times a week, occupational therapy 2 times and physical therapy 2-3 times a week. In between she works out at the gym - 10 minutes on the bike, 10 minutes on the eliptical, and 10 minutes with weights. It is a very tiring 30 minute routine for her.
All the while Courtney asks the questions any normal person would ask: why did this happen to me? It doesn't make sense. My life is confusing. Additionally Courtney is working through severe anxiety (very normal post brain injury) and occasional sadness (also normal).
She is anxious about the people she loves dying or being injured in a car accident and she's anxious for herself. As Courtney recently said "I live my life in fear."
For Craig, myself, Katy and Claudia this is also the long, slow part of the marathon. We feel helpless at times to ease Courtney's fears. We all have our own fears. And like Courtney we wish everything was better right now.
We don't know how long the final 6 miles will take. We believe that Courtney will complete this marathon and return fully to live her life. Courtney's compassion, love for others and determination has inspired us all.
Recently Fr. Brassard spoke these words in a homily that remind us about Courtney:
"Every once in a while a genuinely good and loving individual, whose pain would be more than any mothers' heart could bear, comes along and reminds us of the words of the prophet Hosea: "It is mercy I desire, not sacrifice." We are left to reflect on our own hearts and how the mercy of God is to be played out in the actions of our lives."
And so, we pray for the strength, compassion, wisdom and mercy to pursue the finish line, along with the patience and trust in God that no matter how long the last 6 miles we will all endure!

Hollingworth Time Machine

Saturday evening Craig and I ventured out for the first time since November 15th. We were celebrating St. Patrick's Day at our dear friends, Maureen and Fran's home. I was anxious on the drive knowing that Courtney was also in a car that night with her sister Claudia. We got past the first 30 minutes of anxiousness and enjoyed time with friends (not in a hospital waiting room). That night we received a beautiful and heartfelt gift. Maureen had printed the entire blog, including comments, on colored paper. Each page is protected and in a three ring binder. We were moved to tears at this beautiful gesture of friendship.

Merry Christmas! Yesterday, March 22nd was Christmas for our family. We borrowed a tree from Auntie Linda which was a conversation piece and a decoration. Family and close friends came to celebrate this wonderful event. It was our first party since Courtney's homecoming and a truly blessed experience to once again have our home filled with laughter and happiness.
Santa surprised Courtney by leaving a couple of things under the tree. A purple IPod to replace one she lost in the accident and a journal. As always Courtney was very grateful.
Although I said this is not a gift event I was ignored! Courtney was showered with gifts and she said "Mommy, I have a lot of presents under the tree. I don't know why." Well, Courtney you've once again brought out the best in people as we were thrilled to be able to give and in return received the gift of your happy face.
I have a large family and so there were over 50 people. Courtney did a great job with the noise, the people, the hugs and kisses and more hugs and kisses, etc. She still generally requires a quiet environment with low stimulation so her ability to enjoy herself yesterday was an accomplishment in itself.
Now it's time to put away the St. Patrick's Day and Christmas decorations - Spring has arrived and Easter is almost here!

Mass of Thanksgiving for the Miracle of Courtney's Recovery

There will be a special mass of thanksgiving to celebrate Courtney's recovery and pray for continued and complete healing.

A very special friend Carol gave us bracelets with the inscription "I am grateful" - YES we are!
Along with the bracelet was the story of someone visiting the rooms in heaven - the rooms were filled with angels working on the requests sent up via prayer to heaven. There was one room that was nearly empty - the 'thank you' room. We hope to fill that room on April 23rd with thanks to God for Courtney's miraculous healing.

We hope to see you all there - those whom we know and meet new friends who have followed Courtney's story and prayed along with us, who are friends in spirit and hope.
All demominations are welcome!

Thursday, April 23rd at 7pm LaSalle Academy.

Specific location, directions, etc. will be posted prior to.

Please post a comment (which can be anonymous) if you are planning to come and the # of people attending so that we can plan accordingly.
Thank you!

Mom's Update

So much has happened in the past week.
We visited the firefighters at the Narrangansett Pier Station. Courtney made cupcakes and met some of the firefighters and EMTs who responded to the scene that evening. They showed us the Rescue truck in which Courtney was transported and the jaws of life and other equipment used to extricate Courtney from her car. We took Courtney's picture with the crew and thanked them profusely for saving Courtney's life.
We had lunch with Trooper Brendan Doyle and his Mom. Brendan and Courtney talked about their recoveries and commiserated about therapy. It was great to talk with someone who understands what we are going through.
I went back to work on Monday. It was quite a transition for everyone. Courtney stayed with friends and did a great job with schoolwork.
Courtney's attention to school work has increased dramatically. From 10 minutes 5 weeks ago- to 30 minutes then 1 hour and a huge jump to 4 hours! Courtney now does 4 hours of schoolwork straight through. She is reviewing some basic math concepts, other visual spacial concepts that are challenging, reading and comprehension exercises.
This past week has demonstrated to us that while Courtney has made enormous strides there's a long way to go. This part of the recovery is similar to the long uphill climb at mile 20 of the Boston marathon. It's time to dig in, remind ourselves of how far we have come and try not to focus on the long 6 miles ahead to cross the finish line.
Courtney has her challenges and we all have ours as we remind ourselves that while we've been blessed with courtney's amazing recovery, her personality is in tact, and she clearly will make a full recovery, there's alot of stuff to work through in the process.
As I explained to courtney: Imagine if I took everything out of your closet and bureau, dumped it on the floor and told you to find one single sock. Sometimes the sock is at the top of the pile, sometimes in the middle and sometimes at the bottom. We never know where the information Courtney is searching for is at the top, middle or bottom of the pile. But we know she must search for it. It's a confusing, frustrating and sometimes discouraging process.
As always, Courtney's determination is inspiring us all to stay strong, pray for strength and love one another along our way.

Joy exceeding all expectations

While Courtney was asleep I often prayed that God would touch her heart so that she would never be angry or bitter about the accident. I prayed that her heart would be filled with the love of Jesus so that she could know that faithful prayers answered by God had saved her life. Just as our prayers for healing continue to be answered so has that prayer beyond my wildest imagination. And while this may sound corny, experiencing Courtney's joyful 'rebirth' has been for me, like a glimpse into heaven. The peace that surpasses all peace and joy that overflows is what we have been blessed to experience with Courtney.

This past month at home with Courtney (along with being at her side every day during her hospitalization) is the greatest gift I've received next to her life being saved. Watching her "ooh and aahhh" over things we take for granted - strawberries, gelato, flowers, balloons, cotton candy, lava lamps, Providence Place, the ocean, boats, orange juice, the list goes on. Listening to her intently say "ooooohhh I looove ....." and then "Mommy, I know this might sound silly, but do you think I could have ...?" Unashamedly I admit to saying yes to everything!

Most touching has been her expressions of love toward the people in her life who have always been important to Courtney and especially to those who were by her side throughout her hospital stay.

So while not every moment is joyful, and to be sure there are still many struggles, I wanted to take this time to say again how very grateful our entire family is that I was able to spend this last month at home with Courtney. It has truly been a gift. Today we begin a new chapter in Courtney's recovery. While I am at work Courtey will continue her own important work of cognitive therapy, school work and physical therapy. The plan from now until late August is still being formulated but is becoming a little clearer each day. Courtney and I will continue to keep everyone updated about her progress (and struggles) during this time. She is very determined to be back in the classroom by September and I have no doubt that is exactly where she will be!
Thank God!!!!

One month home anniversary!

Today is the best day ever, I've been home for a month! And I've had sleepovers, I went shopping and I finally went to the house I used to live in to go to a welcome back courtney party, the only reason I went there is because my teeth are normal. I went to my friend's houses and had a ton of fun. We toured sargent and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Except that some people were there that are not as advanced as me. Some are in wheelchairs and cannot speak but when I go there I won't be in groups with them because they need to be one-on-one with a therapist. The director of the program saw me when I was asleep in Braintree, and she could not believe how much better I was. And she said if I could survive all of that and get out of Braintree, then I can do the same thing at sargent. I'll pray for those young adults at sargent who need to be as well as they once were. And tomorrow, we're going to the Narragansett fire station and some of the police who came to the scene to bring them cupcakes which I'm baking. And for late lunch we'll go with Trooper Doyle who is back to his job, but at one time he also had a brain injury. Today I went to Elite Physical Therapy, and he told me that whenever I am not there I can go to the gym down here and ride the bike for ten minutes the gyn is in Peace Dale that my mom and I joined. I have been waiting to go to the gym in so long, and finally I can! So I hope that you continue to pray for those young adults at sargent who really need your help. Thank you.

Mom's Update

I'm sorry it's been so long since our last update. It is certainly not because of lack of news to share. Courtney has been busy with school work reviewing multiplication, division, word problems, etc. She's reading articles and completing reading comprehension exercises as well as vocabulary work.
Most impressive is that Courtney pulled out her German and Italian workbooks and flashcards. As she reviewed German Courtney read aloud (in English) a paragraph she had written in German! She translated it right there on the spot!!! It was amazing - she had only taken German this fall for about 10 weeks. Later Courtney reviewed her Italian flash cards and was able to recall dozens of Italian phrases.
Equally exciting was the moment (after the school work was done) when Courtney tried on some of her high heel shoes. She walked gingerly around the house with a big smile on her face. Whenever Courtney gets excited about something her reaction always begins with "oooohhhh!" There was a very big oooohhh as she walked around in lovely black and gold heels.
Thank you to everyone who offered suggestions for getting help in tutoring. We are working through the details to ensure that Courtney has adequate therapy and specialized tutoring until she is in a full time day treatment program.
In the meantime we had a great weekend with lots of visitors and we attended a beautiful concert that Courtney can tell you about when she writes on the blog tomorrow.

I finally got my teeth fixed!

On Tuesday, I got my teeth fixed. And I wasn't expecting it, I thought they would just clean my teeth and make an appointment for next week, but they actually did it. And I said thank you so much to the dentist and to the dental assistant, and the whole time my mom said they looked beautiful. On Easter Sunday at 11:30 mass, Father Ron at our church Immaculate Conception is going to offer the mass in Thanksgiving for my healing. I am very honored and every day I thank the Lord for saving my life and helping me to heal. And soon, Father Kenney from La Salle will say a mass in Thanksgiving for my healing. We will let everyone know soon when it is. So I have been doing my work inside of my books from the Learning Center in Cranston. I got pre- Algebra, vocab, geometry, and reading comprehension, and a book from Time that asks me questions. And at the library I got Gossip Girls, and my mom does math questions, and she grades all of my work. Today, I got an A off of three pages. I think that my Mom is the best Mommy I could ever ask for.

Please help if you can....

As we have not heard back from Sargent about a start date and haven't received a response we are going to Plan B and think that some of you may be able to help us.

Currently we have physical therapy lined up for Courtney that will allow her to get back to where she was for endurance and fitness.

We have a referral to a speech therapist but are awaiting info about which insurance plans they take.

Our overall plan includes the following:

Neuropsychologist for ongoing testing

Educational consultant - to help assess Courtney's needs and assist in writing an educational plan that will eventually include an IEP.

Physical Therapist - all set for now.

Speech Therapist - still interested in getting referrals.

TUTOR/caregiver - This is perhaps the most important role. We are thinking that a recent college graduate with a degree in education who may not have a full time teaching position would be interested in spending the next 3-5 months working with Courtney. Duties would be:
Assist Courtney with school work, organizational skills, note taking, etc.
Drive Courtney to and from appointments with physical, speech therapy
Assist with daily planning and keeping Courtney on task to complete each day's plan.

This person needs to have an excellent driving record (:( :) AH!)
teaching experience
pleasant but not overly sweet personality
not a pushover

Please leave a comment with your contact information if you know someone who fits the above description and thank you!!!!

Mom's Update

Courtney's therapy at home is going to new levels. We are playing scrabble almost every day and Courtney is spelling words like tangerine, mandarin and Gettysburg! Courtney is reading more and more - she is looking forward to a trip to the library tomorrow.

She continues to review more complicated math and is doing very well with various visual spacial exercises.

Courtney's speech has also improved dramatically in the past 2 weeks. Many people have told her that they can understand everything she is saying, even over the phone, or when she's speaking quickly. Occassionally the wrong word comes out or words come out scrambled. Courtney has a great sense of humor about this and will follow it up with laughter and a "duh duh dah!".

Now that Blue Cross has cleared funding for Sargent Rehabilitation we are anxiously awaiting a start date for Courtney. She is definitely ready to take on the academic challenges and work necessary to get her back to school. Courtney is also looking forward to out patient physical therapy that will get her back on gym equipment like eliptical, treadmill, weights, etc.



We will be having a mass of thanksgiving later in March to thank God for Courtney's miraculous healing. The date, place and time will be posted on the blog and we hope those of you who have followed Courtney's story will join us.

Mom's Update

Courtney continues to work hard at recovery. While in-home therapy is being reduced and we are waiting for her to start Sargent Courtney is reviewing some old favorites. Multiplication tables, state capitals, U.S. government and American History facts and vocabulary are among topics we are reviewing. These reviews will help Courtney recall what she has learned in the past. Today we will have Courtney's violin tuned and she'll start playing her violin. Music is always wonderful therapy and playing the violin offers unique challenges for the left arm and hand.

Courtney is certain that she will return to URI in the Fall and I have no doubt she is right! As her recovery continues and for people seeing and speaking with Courtney for the first time since the accident it's good to remember that TBI recovery of this magnitude is like growing up again fast forward. That means Courtney started again as a new born and is now progressing through years of cognitive, behavioral and emotional development. Like the rest of her recovery Courtney is moving through these 'years' at an even faster pace than we expected.

During our visit to Paychex yesterday Courtney and I were able to thank many people for their prayers and support. It has been a wonderful gift for me to be able to stay with Courtney each day since the accident. This has been possible thanks to the generosity of my co-workers who have donated their own precious vacation time. I will never be able to express what this time has meant to me and how grateful I am.

In the next couple of weeks we will visit RIH TICU and Narragansett Fire Dept to say thanks to those who saved Courtney's life.

after my first week at home

Thank you to everyone I have met or have not met for praying for me. Yesterday at ash wednesday mass I got the biggest cross on my forehead. Probably because the lady saw my scars and my teeth and she asked me if I would "will you repent and be healed" and I said yes and she smiled at me. And on ash wednesday the nurse discharged me because she doesn"t need to be here any more. Everyday my recovery continues and I keep getting better and better. And today we went to Paychex where my mom is the manager and every one was so happy to see me. So thank you for all of your prayers for me getting better and I am better now. And I was at Braintree hospital in a group called CIMT and I was crying because there were new ambulances coming in and at church I told the priest to pray for them just like I did that day after the group was over I went to my room with my mom and we said the hail Mary and the Our Father and I also said dear God, make these people as well as you made me.

my first week at home!

I did occupational therapy on twice a week. And physical therapy I passed the test she said I can do everything so she can"t see me again. I visited with family and friends. And I went shopping. And I felt so normal for one time since November. and yesterday I went to Christ the King at URI and the priest saw me in the hospital and he told me I am a walking miracle. And tonight I answered the home phone and the lady said is "is this Courtney's sister?" and I said "no this is Courtney!" and she said "Courtney! oh my god" probably because she thought I was still in the hospital and she brought me to Rhode Island hospital. And tomorrow I am writing letters saying "I am glad and rejoycing for you saving my life" to everyone to the hospital in Rhode Island hospital and to Dr katz and to the nurses and therapists at Braintree. And today I said to my Mommy i am glad and rejoycing for God saving my life. My Mommy tells me everyday that she is the happiest Mother in the world.

Mom's Update

Our first glorious week at home has been extremely busy which is why I haven't posted as often. Between unpacking 3 months of living at hospitals, working around the refinishing of the basement and getting Courtney settled in the week has flown by.
Each day has been an amazing gift of gratitude and joy. Courtney is full of gratitude for all the prayers she has received and continues to be appreciative of the simple joys in life.
We've had many visitors throughout the week as well as getting out of the house so that Courtney could do some shopping.
Nursing, physical, and occupational therapy have all been here to assess Courtney and begin in-home therapy. Courtney did so well with physical therapy that it was determined she is to high level for this service! As she told her friends "the physical therapist said she never wants to see me again!"
Each night Courtney reads to me to improve her speech and she's doing great. One of her favorites is a joke book that her friend Catherine gave to her. Often she's laughing hysterically before she gets to the punch line. Courtney continues to improve the flexibility in her elbow and wrist on her own - in just a week she's made remarkeable progress.

Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”


by Marianne Williamson

Parting words from UB

On Sunday, three months to the day of Courtney's horrific accident, I drove down to my sister's house to visit. For the first time in more than three months, Courtney said "Hi" to me. Her greeting was music for the soul!

The night of the accident when Uncle Kevin called me, I didn't know if Courtney would be alive when I arrived at the hospital. Too often we hear and read of young people dying in car accidents. Recently, three young men died on Elmwood Avenue in Cranston, a mere 100 yards or so from my place of employment. (one of the survivors, a young lady, has been mentioned in the comments section of this blog by her teacher).

As I have tried to stress to Beth's kids a number of times - especially John who is driving now - many young people think that bad things happen to other people. Intellectually, they know its' possible they could get hurt and/or die but psychologically they think otherwise. It's part of being young. As adults, we know it's our job to remind "our" children that these things can, in fact, happen to them.

Recently, there have been numerous car break-ins in my neighborhood. I witnessed one from a few hundred yards away the other night but I couldn't catch up with the two thieves with my truck. After speaking to a young policeman from the site of the break-in he thanked me for calling. I responded by saying, no, "thank YOU". He's the one putting his life on the line everyday.

I had that same feeling after Courtney thanked me for visiting. Thank me?? NO! Thank you, Courtney. Thank you for being so brave in such a frightening situation. Thank you for being strong willed and determined in the face of your monumental struggle. Thank you for never giving up. Thank you for setting such an inspiring example for all of us who have been so deeply touched by your awesome spirit. Thank you for coming back to us.

It's my belief that we have all been given a gift of these past three months and there's more to come. In my eyes, the gift isn't limited to Courtney's recovery alone. The gift includes the remarkable human circle of support and love extended by so many people who never even knew Courtney before her accident and so many of our friends and extended family. Many of those stories have been recorded on this blog. Countless others have not. The fact is, we'll never know the full extent of love and prayers directed toward Courtney and her family (and my family). In a sense, the phenomenon is similar to the one depicted in the movie, Pay it Forward. (watch it if you haven't)

Finally, (I'm imagining a huge sigh of relief) though I'd like to keep writing into the summer in order to harass those Yankee fans, Craig and Ed, I'm going to bow out so the star of the show can keep us informed on how she's doing. On behalf of all my siblings who didn't write, thank you so much for loving and caring for Courtney, Katy, Claudia, Craig and Diane.

Long overdue blog

Obviously the past 4 days have been very hectic. Sunday morning we woke up early enough to eat breakfast and go to church in Cranston at Immaculate Conception (our old parish). Courtney insisted that we go to church there so that she could thank Fr. Ron and/or Fr. Kenney for praying for her. The parish community has been very supportive of Courtney and our family. We are so indebted to them and so many others for their prayers.

Courtney sang for the first time during mass and remembered most of the prayers proving once again that her memory is working well! She was pleased to thank so many people for their prayers and also let Fr. Kenney know that there are new patients at Braintree that need prayers.

Monday was busy with trying to begin working through 3 months of living out of hospitals, trunks and Uncle Kevin's. There was SO SO SO much to sift through! The work continued throughout the day but Courtney did not miss out on therapy. Each day Courtney walks, works with play dough for her left hand, reads out loud for speech and generally pushes herself a little bit further each day. Today Courtney made rice krispee treats mixing and reaching with her left hand. We play with the WII balance but it is taking some getting used to and Mom is NOT coordinated enough to be a good example!

Courtney has been touched by the gifts and cards that have come to welcome her home. Most important of all is the fact that Katy and Claudia found Courtney's cell phone! Glory Alleluia! Courtney immediately started texting and calling friends and so the cell phone has been buzzing ever since!!!!

In the days ahead Courtney will have in home therapy through Care New England VNA. She will visit Sargent to check it out next week. We will have Courtney's violin tuned so that she can play it (also good therapy in many ways)!

We will be having many celebrations in the weeks and months ahead including a Mass of Thanksgiving for Courtney's healing. Information will be posted and we know that many will come to join us in thanking God for this miracle.

Courtney will post tomorrow morning with more info on her days at home so far and the days ahead.

Going Home Day and First Night

Courtney started the day off celebrating her departure from Braintree eating cake with the staff. It was a beautiful cake and delicious. Everyone was crying, except Courtney! She said "good bye 204 B FOREVER!" and "I will never be a patient again!"

We made the 1 1/2 hour drive quite easily and Courtney remembered cities, towns, people and many random facts along the way. At home she had lunch and then a nap. After the nap Courtney watched TV and relaxed for the rest of the day.

It was a joyous day as Craig said better than any birthday, any Christmas, any holiday anyone ever had. Courtney made the decision not to have a delayed Christmas. Instead she opted to give (the only gifts we bought last year) Katy and Claudia their Christmas presents last night. We bought them together at Marshalls on employee day and Courtney had picked them all out. The girls were thrilled with everything Courtney had selected for them and Courtney was thrilled to give those gifts along with the stuffed Lobster and Elephant from Build A Bear.

Throughout the past 1 1/2 days Courtney has said 'thank you so much' to everyone. ALL the staff, Doctors, nurses, aids, secretaries, housekeeping all received a very sincere 'thank you so much' from Courtney. It was heartfelt. She has thanked Craig and I dozens of times for praying for her and 'for everything.' When Courtney was still in TICU I started praying that God would give her a grateful heart. That she would never be angry or bitter about the accident. I could never have imagined the gift of having Courtney's heart SO filled with gratefulness, love, happiness, peace and joy. I could never have imagined that so early on she would recognize that "God made me better."
As awful as the terrible days were (and I could never have imagined how awful they were before they happened) - these past 2 weeks have been far more joyous. And I could never have imagined the joy, happiness and gratitude that would fill our hearts. We are so grateful and so overwhelmed by joy.
Thank you to the countless people who supported and prayed for us all along the way.

Busy Final Day

Courtney's last day of therapy at Braintree was packed with work including OT with the robotic arm, PT during which Courtney made huge gains on the balance test jumping 13 points and group therapies for hand and speech. The day of therapy ended with a group trip to the mall. Most of the patients went into the pet store but Courtney was interested in the Build A Bear store next door (of course!). Courtney quickly selected a stuffed lobster for Katy and an elephant for Courtney then she selected shoes for each of them! Nothing for herself.
Then onto the food court to Planet Smoothie and she grabbed a slice of veggie pizza for dinner.

Upon arriving back we packed Courtney's belongings - enough to fill a car! She has not even seen the enormous box of cards we brought home a month ago or the huge box of Christmas cards but she is anxious to read them all. Courtney had many tearful good byes with people that work the night shift (they did the crying!). One after another they told her how they would miss her and how amazingly she'd done.

Tomorrow is going home day and Craig and I will arrive early for breakfast, getting Courtney ready. Then we will have cake and coffee with the staff to celebrate. Courtney has selected a white cake with raspberry filling and white frosting decorated with white chocolate sea shells. The cake is from Konditor Meister (a name that makes her laugh each time I say it).

Mom's Post Continued

When Courtney was typing her post she stopped herself before typing "pray for me" and said "no, I'm better." I told her it was okay to ask for prayers. Courtney asked me to pray to God with her. We prayed for the patient she saw coming in today. We said the Our Father and Hail Mary. Then Courtney said "I prayed. Dear God, I pray with my whole heart that you help the person. Hello, it's Courtney" What a beautiful prayer.

Mom's Post

Courtney's days are packed with lots of therapy as she is also participating in group therapies. She is doing current events group, disarthria group (to help her speak louder), thinking skills group, hand group, and constraint induced movement group (that focuses on using the left arm).
Today Courtney met with Dr. Brown and a representative from the company that manufactures the pump holding the Baclofin. Of course Dr. Brown was thrilled with Courtney's progress and how much better her left ankle, right leg and even left elbow and wrist are doing. Courtney is already wondering when the pump will come out. Hopefully after a few months the Baclofin can be discontinued completely and sometime thereafter, when Doctors are certain she doesn't need it, the pump will be removed.
There's just one more day of therapy left and Courtney will be heading home. When someone asked me this morning "what time are you leaving Friday?" Courtney answered before I had a chance "in the morning!" She is very anxious. Courtney plans to sit on the couch with Daddy and watch TV (she said "I don't care" when asked what they will watch) and of course have lunch. The weekend menu has already been planned.
As you can see from the posting by Courtney she was very upset to see a new patient being brought to the hospital. She has thought about little else since then and cries about it. She told me about it immediately after and said "I'll pray to God. You pray too. I'll call Daddy, and Katy and Claudia and tell them." Courtney has always been a caring person who truly feels other people's pain. The accident has not changed that and she is obviously aware of much more than she can express.

Courtney's Post

I am praying for (a patient that was with an) EMT that passed me..(please pray for them too) and pray for me. thank you for praying for them.

i am at home on friday.

Mom's Update

One of the assessment tools is the GOAT - Galveston Orientation Assessment. I mentioned that Courtney went from getting a score of 15/100 to a score of 90/100. Apparently when a patient gets a passing score on the GOAT three days in a row they are considered post-confusional.
Courtney got her 3rd passing score today on the GOAT. That means that she went from the minimally conscious state into the confusional state and passed into post-confusional in just over 2 weeks. It is completely 'unheard of' according to everyone here. They are completely stunned and thrilled. Of course this means that Courtney is truly ready to move on to the next phase of her recovery and so her discharge date has been moved up - one week - to this Friday!!!!
Friday the 13th! Courtney will be going home 8 weeks after arriving here at Braintree hospital and just 1 day shy of the 3 month mark following her accident.

We believe that the prayers and support Courtney has received during these past months have brought this miraculous recovery. God has blessed us beyond measure with wonderful family, friends, doctors, nurses and many other caretakers.

Although we are ecstatic about Courtney's homecoming we know that she still has a way to go before she her recovery is complete. We will continue to update you via this blog and Courtney will provide her own updates in the coming days and weeks. In the meantime we are SO SO grateful to God and all of you!!!!

Mom's Update

A few things I forgot from previous days:
Yesterday during Courtney's outing to Friday's a brawl broke out! Mid-day, a family restaurant - apprently excitement follows the Hollingworth's everywhere.
Courtney has told me "Mommy every day I wake up for you."

Courtney was very pleased to hear that both Fr. Kenney and Fr Ron mentioned her at church and that so many people are following her progress and praying for her. When prompted Courtney quickly remembered how to finish the prayer-ending they spoke daily at LaSalle. She is hearing each and every day how amazing her recovery is and what a miracle she is. It has provided some insight for her into how far she has come.

Today Courtney and I went to Target. It's a big store and while we didn't walk the whole store we covered enough ground to wear Courtney out. She had alot of visitors today and a wonderful dinner from Panera including some favorites.

Tomorrow begins a busy week of therapy and work for Courtney as she continues to improve her memory and cognitive skills. In the meantime Courtney is changing the day and date on the white board and crossing off the days on the calendar until she goes home. We are saying daily prayers of thanks for every WOW moment - and there have been lots of them.

Mom's Update

As I've mentioned in previous blog Courtney's personality is very much intact. I've been wanting to write about this for sometime but Courtney's had me on the go and she's not resting much during the day.
Here are some moments that show her true personality through and through:
"I'm better. I'm going home on February 20" she said to Marie on the phone
Therapists ask "Courtney do you want to do one more..., you don't have to if you don't want to"
"Yes" Courtney will always say "I'll do it." or
"Do you want to try this new therapy? It's okay if you don't want to" Courtney always says "I'll do it."

"I WANT my cell phone"

One night Courtney's nurses aid was sitting in the chair next to Courtney's bed and she was holding her head in her hand. Courtney asked "Are you tired?" - The nurses aid told me about this the next day and said "I love her - she's a good girl."

We talked to Courtney about going to church when she comes home "Christ the King (on the URI campus)! Yes, I remember!"

Courtney is loving EVERYTHING. "I love this chicken" "I love this restaurant" "I love Emma, Jill, Carey" and other friends and family. "I love those flowers" "I love my glasses."
As though we weren't appreciative enough of this miracle Courtney has shown us how to be appreciative of every single thing we touch, smell, eat and experience.

"I'm so scared that something this bad will happen to someone I love."

We were going to Marshall's today and so I asked Courtney if she'd like to look at the pants.
"Yes she said, I'll get some for Katy." I said no not Katy. "Okay then Claudia." No not Claudia
"okay, Emma then?" No Courtney for you. It's so like Courtney to be thinking of other people.

Courtney getting "kicked out" (just a joke) of Reality Orientation Group because she was laughing hysterically at the older men who wouldn't stop talking.

An OT that hadn't worked with Courtney much said "I thought we might try to make things a little more difficult by having Courtney pick out her own clothes and get them out of the closet."
I said - oh she's already doing that! Courtney said "Moving on!"

Yes and moving on is what Courtney continues to do. Dr. Katz exclaimed last night "The fastest recovery I've ever seen, at least one of the fastest, but I think it's the fastest." (among patients with severe TBI)

12 weeks after the accident we did not expect to be preparing to bring Courtney home. When we arrived here we were told 3-6 months. That was 7 weeks ago!

Mom's Update

It's been an incredible week of rejoicing as we listen to Courtney remember so many many things, places, people and random facts! The best part about this week is the incredible number of times Courtney has looked at us and said "I love you Mommy" or "I love you Daddy." Then she'll ask "Does Daddy know how much I love him?" Oh yes, Courtney and you can't imagine how much we love you.
Our joy is immeasurable at seeing Courtney's recovery surpass levels that Doctors expected. Each area that they warned us would be problematic has turned out not to be so. Today we learned that Courtney's hearing is perfect! Perfect!!! after the ear bone was broken causing nerve damage. Memory, speech, concentration, walking, talking and most importantly personality are all recovering. At this point Courtney needs to still has lots of work on speech, memory, concentration, balance and coordination. Over the coming months Courtney will work on all of those things and relearning (in fast forward)everything she's learned over the 12+ years of school.
Courtney had her feeding tube removed today!!!! Yeah - the last tube. The only foreign object left now is the baclofin pump and that will remain in place for sometime. Tomorrow and Sunday both bring field trips for Courtney. We will (maybe) do some shopping and definitely lunch again. Saturday is TGI Fridays. Sunday is TBD.

Courtney's Update

i am eat eating at bertuccis. i ate pizza and salad. i went with mommy inher midnight acura blue. we went with alissa and kathleen.

Mom's Update

Courtney had great days both yesterday and today. She has figured out the times that Craig and I come to stay with her. Courtney reminds me often throughout the day that she is expecting me by 8am! This morning Courtney told me that if I wasn't here by 8:04 she would "freak out." I assured that she would be fine if I didn't arrive at exactly 8am.
We've been talking alot about friends and family and when they would be visiting. Courtney did great on the treadmill both days walking more than 1000 feet at a good pace. She also did very well with OT and used the Robotic arm computer game. This piece of equipment allows Courtney to stretch her left wrist and elbow while playing video games.
Among many other amazing things Courtney has remembered in the past 24 hours was phone numbers of friends from high school! She also talked to friends and family on the phone alot in the past 2 days. One of the most memorable conversations were with Uncle Kevin, Kristen and Cory who were all brought to tears hearing Courtney's voice.
Courtney had a field trip out of the hospital today that she will tell everyone about. When she got into my car Courtney said "I love this car!" I asked Courtney "have a new found appreciation for life don't you?" and she answered seriously "yes."
Courtney made the largest score improvements on one of the coma recovery tests today. the GOAT is administered every few days. Three days ago Courtney scored 15/100 - today she scored 90/100! HUGE HUGE!!!! The largest score improvement anyone here has ever seen.

Courtney's First Update

i love you. how are you today? i am fine.

Mom's Update - Computer trouble delayed posting

Courtney had another outstanding and busy day today. She mixed, baked and frosted funfetti cupcakes and walked 837 feet on the Autoambulator treadmill. Courtney also called many of her friends and ate very very well. I made cinnamon buns for breakfast and brought fresh canteloupe and strawberries that Courtney ate throughout the day. She ate grill cheese and pnut butter crackers at lunch then fish and corn niblets at dinner. Courtney wasn't that impressed with the fish and corn (it really wasn't that bad) but a bit dry so we walked to the kitchen and added butter to make it more palitable. During both lunch and dinner Courtney showed that she is quickly catching on

Mom's Update

Courtney's awareness progressed further today as she became aware of time away from Mom and Dad. Last night as I was getting ready to leave she started saying 'please don't leave.' Because part of this recovery is a bit like growing up again but fast forward I anticipated separation anxiety. I assured Courtney I would be back in the morning. When I arrived in the morning Courtney was standing in the hallway and the entire nursing staff informed me that she had been sitting by the elevator eagerly waiting my arrival and insisting on calling me!

Throughout the day Courtney asked for cell phone #s of everyone from me and Craig to Aunties, friends, parents of friends. She would hold up her finger, tell me to wait 'just a sec' walk to the bureau, grab the dry erase board and marker, bring them to me and say, 'what about XXX's cell phone?' and I would write it down for her. She thought of so many people we ran out of room and had to write them all on 2 separate pieces of paper.

Courtney asked 'where's my phone?' I promised her I would find it in the pile of things I put in safe keeping and get it to her ASAP! She asked later in the day "how do I reach you tonight?" - just like that! unbelievable!!!

After weeks of Daddy receiving the brunt of her frustrations she finally did a 180 and asked me "where's Daddy- I want to call him." Then she grilled him about when he would be arriving to visit and insisted that he stay after I left this evening. She gave many hugs and kisses - and he deserves so many more - at least one for every pinch and slap he got during the agitated phase!

Also, and very very importantly Courtney ate well today. After a slow start she ate canteloupe, half of a Mc D's cheeseburger, 1/2 order of small fries for lunch. Later she drank 3/4 a small vanilla shake and when her stomach was full she looked at me and said "I really don't think I should eat any more right now." Just before 5pm Courtney said "I'm hungry. I need to eat again." (we have been telling Courtney 'you need to eat again today') She ate turkey, mashed potatos and gravy. It took 1 hour and 10 minutes and it must have been iced cold but she ate nearly the entire dinner. I asked Courtney if eating was exhausting. She answered "it's like when I wake up and just before I go to sleep" - long answer for absolutey!!!

Finally, we got the word that Courtney will indeed be going home Friday, February 20th as long as insurance approves 3 more weeks. We believe they will. Courtney will have 2-3 weeks transition with in-home therapy and then will begin a day program at Sargent Rehabilitation Center. Sadly there are 16 participants in the 18-25 year old group currently enrolled in their program. This program will take Courtney all the way through to a return to school.

Meanwhile friends and family are all pitching in to help us get the house ready for Courtney and like all the other support we've received we are so very humbled and grateful.

Waking Up Is Hard To Do

Courtney started the morning off asking to call Emma, her friend, on the phone. I dialed my cell phone and got Emma on the phone. They spoke for a few minutes, Emma letting Courtney know about her plans for the day while Courtney mainly listened. It was another amazing Courtney moment as her speech therapist Kathleen happened to be in the room durin the call and said most people can't talk on the phone for a long time after a head injury.
Later as Katy, Claudia and Courtney were doing valentine crafts Courtney read a card from a high school friend. She started crying saying "I wish I didn't have to read this card." We all knew what she meant. Then the questions started and for about an hour Courtney asked questions about the accident showing (true Courtney) more concern about others than herself.
Why did the accident happen?
What about the people in the other car?
What happened at the hospital in Rhode Island?
Why do you say I was really sick there?
How did you find out about the accident?
Then she asked Claudia and Katy how did they find out.
What about the Lawsons?
The Abergers?
Aunts, Uncles, friends, one after another she named the people in her life and wanted to know
"Who called who?"
We described that night to Courtney and who (so many many people) sat with us through that night and who came to the hospital to sit with us and pray for Courtney day after day after day. Craig told her "you are our miracle."
We told her about the "Please Pray for Courtney" signs and the Facebook Page. Katy and Claudia explained that hundreds of kids have logged onto Courtney's Get Well Page and written on her Facebook. Courtney asked "whose wall? yours?"~!!!!! Amazing question and terminology! No, the girls told her, "they wrote on your facebook page."
"Why wasn't I told about this before?" Courtney asked!
What were we thinking????
The girls logged onto Facebook to show Courtney. As she sat in front of the computer Courtney reached out and started navigating around the Facebook page!!! Then she attempted to log onto Facebook remembering an old password - unbelievable - we sat there amazed at her once again.
Of course there were lots of tears all around as we recalled that night and the questions Courtney asked were so thoughtful. She also asked lots of questions about her memory and the things she can't remember. Courtney wanted to know "why is Emma different now?"
WOW - what a revelation and how scary to think that you have a memory of someone from years before and then they walk in your hospital room looking 2, 3, 5 (?) years older than the image in your mind. It was the most astounding conversation.
After all that Courtney was emotionally and physically exhausted but she managed to drink an entire McDonald's vanilla milkshake and eat a half a piece of pizza. Hopefully she will eat more food tonight and tomorrow will be a bigger calorie day for Amazing Courtney!